I realized that I was doubting, Noah. I was still looking at him, formulating my opinions on what would happen, based on him. What if he relapses? His ungratefulness, stealing shoes, smoking, I was looking at his attitude, instead of at mine.

I ran the trail Friday, Finn alongside. We’d just started, not fifty feet in, when a flicker crossed, my eye. Sitting, eye-level, first tree off the trail, my cardinal of hope.

Running 12 years at the trail, I’ve never seen the bird of red. Flown in, from hither knows where, his destination, me. Stopping, one step in his direction, he flew. Not the point of his journey, to hold my hand, rather his mission, remind me of my strength. Go inward, find the source, Spirit of the Universe, living energy, dwell there.

This morning in my gratitude time, I’m reminded. What we think about, we bring about. Doubt breeds doubt. If I’m not believing in Noah, I’m only bringing more negative energy to him.

See him great. See him clean. See him happy, laughing, he jokes in my mind. My grown-up towhead, I believe in you, the deep Spirit of the Universe running wild within, abundant energy, finding your way.